KC--When is the last time you saw either a mattress ad or a furniture ad wherethe couple was looking at twin beds or mattresses? “Oh look, dear, that cutelittle table would look great between our beds.” When is the last time a tv show or movie that depicted a bedroom scene of a bonded couple showed twinbeds? The Dick Van Dyke Show hits 50 this year, but Rob and Laura Petrie’s bedroom is long a thing of the past. Sharing a bed is the norm for a couple,regardless of sexuality. So sharing a bed is “vanilla”.
DP--Is vanilla even a term we can use anymore? In the past (decades ago),vanilla erotic romance was unheard of- now it is used to describe (in myopinion) the Harlequin-esque sweet romances. No entering the bedroom for the'rough and tough' sex we all crave, just the insinuation. Harsh words anddialogue are left to the readers' imaginations whereas erotic romance invitesyou into the bedroom, offers you a seat to watch and uses the words we allcrave to hear, read and visualize.
KC--The “sweet romance” that you describe may be the last vestigial remains ofthe pre-Age of Aquarius mentality. ABC has a new television series set in theearly 1960‘s called “Pan Am”, about the adventures of stewardesses. In thesecond episode, a stewardess is sexually assaulted by a passenger, and pokeshim with a fork to defend herself. The stewardess is at fault. One of thepilots offers to “put her over my knee” to placate the irate customer. TitleVII isn’t around until 1967. The point is that the female didn’t know herplace. In the bedroom, that meant performing her “wifely duties”, laying thereuntil the male got off and got off. Since readers, for the most part, no longerexpect a woman to have “wifely duties”, the author needs to show that sexual relationsare a mutual give and take venture.
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THE MISSIONARY POSITION
KC-- The missionary position, by definition, is “vanilla”. But is it really? Oris it merely an arbitrary designation bestowed on cowardly writers like myselfwho are unwilling to take on James Michner’s immortal takes on the missionaryposition in Hawaii? Is it just more fun to write about doing it “Cowboy”?That’s not new. Look up the definition of “ride rantipole”.
DP--The actual act of intercourse/sex is bland when left to the missionary position. Mix it up...add some toys to enhance the foreplay...talk dirty... be spontaneous... role play.
If you prefer the act bland and predictable, then continue with the missionary position.
· ADDING ENHANCEMENTS
DP- Whether the man adds a 'blue pill' or the woman adds a battery operated toy, these additions were unheard of decades ago. You enjoyed what you weredealt and people frowned upon (or hid) the fact that the woman loved having avibrator being used in her. This was taboo whereas now, couples are more openwith the contributions that outside enhancers can add to the bedroom.
KC- It’s not so much that “enhancers” were unavailable heretofore, as thatthere has been a cultural shift that has allowed people to publicly acknowledgethem.
Males--Having crossed age fifty, I’m not the man I used to be. I’m losingmuscle mass and my testosterone production is dropping, and has been for years.So what? That’s not news. But now it acceptable to acknowledge that fact both“in the locker room” and in public. “Erectile Dysfunction” or “ED” cures are astaple for advertising on any sporting event. There is also a correspondingincrease in access to enhancers. One need no longer order from the classifiedads at the back of a girly magazine or an Adam & Eve catalog. Accordingly,there is no longer a stigma attached to using a male enhancer.
Females--We’ve crossed a new sexual Rubicon. There are TV ads for female sexualenhancers that make “that moment” all the more momentous. The word “orgasm” maystill be taboo, but at least we can acknowledge that women can derive pleasurefrom sex. You don’t have to consult with the pharmacist (that’s a chemist forthose of you who speak with British or Australian accents). You can just pickup the box off the shelf at the corner drugstore and take it straight to thecheckout counter.
Toys--Toys have been available from time immemorial. However, it is nowacceptable to admit to their use, and to encourage others to try them.
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So what is “vanilla” today?
KC-- “Vanilla” is not so much a course of action as it is a state of mind.“Vanilla” is limiting oneself to primal, instinctual intercourse for thepurpose of propagation--up, in, out. The same description is used by a localcar mechanic’s shop, and is almost as exciting. As soon as one opens up to theendless possibilities of prolonging, enhancing, and varying sexual interactionwith a partner, “vanilla” falls by the wayside.
DP- Vanilla by definition is a softer (soft-core) erotic where description isleft to the readers' imagination. Vanilla allows you to live partially throughthe characters but leaves out the harder core text, visuals andimplications.
JUST some this and that opinions of Vanilla in the 21stCentury
