CASSANDRE DAYNE
I’ve written many things about BDSM and the acts and playtime and the discipline occurring within the lifestyle. But in truth what you’ve heard about are much more of a vanilla laced – if you will – events. Everything from being flogged on the St. Andrew’s Cross to nipple clamps, these are very traditional methods used. Then there’s what’s called Edge Play or the extreme in BDSM. What is edge play? Going far enough out on a limb that actual physical damage could occur. This could involve nipple torture, cutting, burning and breath play. And trust me there are more. In giving you a taste of something else I first caution you to read this with an open mind and listen to all the red flags that might be going off in your brain. These methods aren't for the newcomer or the faint of heart.
Erotic asphyxiation is the term used for purposely cutting off oxygen to the brain in order to achieve sexual arousal. Chemically, when oxygen is deprived from the brain carbon dioxide is produced causing giddiness and in many people an instant arousal. It often produces a lucid, semi hallucinogenic state called hypoxia that when combined with an orgasm, the rush can be as powerful as a hit of cocaine and just as addictive. You might ask yourself, what the hell is the thrill?
You don't have to know consciously that what you're doing is dangerous, because all your body's reflexes are screaming it at you. Put the back of a crooked forefinger over your windpipe, in the middle of the angle where your neck joins your chin, and push up and back very gently. It takes hardly any pressure to feel very uncomfortable indeed. Do it to someone else and they will certainly try to move your hand away without even thinking about it.
There are all kinds of things people might get out of breath control. You may find there is a sensual pleasure in just the fact of having their breathing restricted, or enjoy the way it underlines the sense of enclosure when using a mask or hood. And it is the ultimate trust game, with the bottom literally putting their life in their top's hands.
Breath control may be used in moderation to introduce an element of vulnerability or danger into the scene. However some people pursue it to the point of near or actual unconsciousness, and enjoy the resulting psychological 'altered state'. Some say this is the only way they can achieve what many people call subspace - the wondrous state of extreme ecstasy.
There are many methods of achieving this including some things you’ve probably seen in moves such as a plastic bag being placed over the heads of the sub. Kids have been known to practice this themselves and often times with disastrous results. Within the BDSM community there are several methods including airtight masks and hoods with some form of air inlet that can be controlled can be a thrill just to wear. Using hands over the inlet will allow subtle gradations of restriction and also give easy and safe release. Gas masks are ideal since they are usually reliably made with a large, easy-to-locate inlet; anaesthetists' masks can also be employed. Leather/fetish suppliers make a wide range of purpose-built hoods, usually from rubber, but be very careful to check their integrity before playing, especially ones with a very restrictive inlet, and think carefully about how easy they are to get off. Keep a pair of big blunt-ended scissors handy as an emergency measure.
There are also other extreme methods including hanging and carotid pressure – which is literally having a force of pressure placed on your windpipe to stop the breathing for some time. I personally am not into this type of edge play and have heard too many terrible stories of people – including children who hang themselves for this reason – to even EVER consider it.
In talking with the Dom many you have heard me mention, he told me flat out there are many types of edge play he won’t consider including knife and gun play and breath control. He told me a story that haunts him to this day about a good friend of his that had a long time slave and they engaged in the practice and had for years. Unfortunately during one session of play time things got out of hand and she died. He was in jail for a few months as the police investigated him and the claims that their playtime was a consensual event and an accident instead of murder. You can imagine trying to explain to a cop what you and your partner were doing and how he or she died.
It’s horrible what happened to her and while she kept records of their relationship enabling a solid background of their BDSM activities enabling him to be exonerated, he was crushed at the loss. My Dom had engaged until that time and swears never again.
There are ways you can watch carefully your partner and minimize the risks but in truth, I’m not going to go over those because I fear people who have no business in edge play will try something like this with horrendous results. I strongly encourage anyone even curious about this to spend LOTS of time talking to people and learning and reconsidering before you attempt anything of this nature. You don’t want to have something that you thought would be kinky end in death.
I also include some aspects of edgier type play and my upcoming release with Naughty Nights Press is very out there. Forced Fantasies will be a something that may stretch your boundaries to a point you're not sure about. Take a look at the blurb.
FORCED FANTASIES
Devlin Carter yearned to find a new life including a career that allowed him more freedom to be the man he’d buried inside. Longing for a partner to share his dark cravings of being owned and collared, he fought his personal demons wearing a conservative mask but something had to give. Stumbling onto Dark Obsession, an Internet Fetish Community that catered to every kinky need, he was intrigued. Invited to a very posh and private party hosted by the owner of the site, Devlin was concerned co-workers would find out about his exotic hungers and he’d lose his job.
Kisses xxx
Cassandre
WHERE TO FIND ME
http://cassandredayne.wordpress.com/
Email: cassandre@cassandredayne.com
http://twitter.com/bethanyhalle
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Great post very informative and yet another HOT book
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