My Issues With Porn

Greetings friends! This is resident bad girl, BLMorticia with another smexy post. This week, I’m stating my issues with gay porn or make that, the industry in general. Now, as we all know, the sex art industry makes money by the tons. Doesn’t matter if it’s gay, straight, bi, transsexual, or even the “other” stuff that’s kinda gross, someone’s out there watching it. Seemingly porn will never have the problems other industries have faced and now with the new technology, porn is at an all-time high.

In a matter of minutes you can have all the wank off art you want on your phones, tablets, computers, and laptops. Some for a small fee or even free. That’s the best kind. *giggles* This leads to one problem I’m sure has been discussed: Quality.

“BL, what difference does it make? Why should I care about the quality of porn? I only wanna get my rocks off! I don’t give a rat’s ass about quality.” Well damn, I do especially when I’m wasting valuable time watching instead of writing or better yet, gettin’ my rocks off without the help of technology. *winks*

So, you ask, what are the issues? Hmm, let me think.

1.      Little plot – Oh boy. I know I’ll be crucified for this one. I’m not sayin’ you have to put together an academy award winning script but I wish some people would put some effort into it. Make an attempt to entertain me and get me off. There are a couple of flicks I can think of that have successfully achieved this. One, a gay porn movie titled Focus/Refocus with my fave former porn star David Taylor. The Acting? Not all that great but hey, they attempted to make a real story. A noir too that was dirty and freakin’ hot.

2.      Acting – Oh I know. They’re only porn actors so they only need to be well hung or big chested. No skills required. Ah this is even true in Hollywood. How many of so called “actors and actresses” are pullin’ in the big bucks and aren’t very good at this? That’s a topic for another day. Still, I’d like a little effort put into this as well. Perhaps a drama class or two when you put together this, erm, script.

3.      Settings/Background – *laughs* This is funny. I’ve seen some porn done in beautiful houses or paradisaical backdrops. This means the porn directors spent a little cash. I’ve also seen the ugly side. Someone’s basement or worse yet, some seedy bar on the wrong side of town. *laughs* Oh this means I’m a regular watcher right? Yeah I confess. *shrugs* How else am I gonna be able to write gay sex scenes? Can’t do the shit myself. Well, I could if get two guys drunk and… nevermind. Back to the point. I love a beautiful backdrop. Some of them are pretty simple too. Just clean couches or beds some art on the walls, a place that looks like home, not the local crack house!

4.      Dialogue – “Ohh baby, right there… yea…” The hetero version. “Fuck yeah, oh fuck, in my ass, ohh oh…” The gay version. Good fuckin’ grief. I dunno, does everyone say the same thing when they fuck? No, so why so porn movies have actors say the same shit through EVERY movie? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, fuck yeah in a gay porn. It IRKS me. Shar asked people in the gay writer’s group do they really say that. LOL is it a gay thing? Hmm… If so let me know. How about, oh yeah, right there, just like that. Heard that then the fuck yeah. Fuck yeah? *rolls eyes* Just a little variety would be good. Which brings me to my next point.

5.      Music/Breathing or voices that don’t belong to the actors – Otherwise known as vocal tracks. Why the hell do I need to hear someone else’s voices or breathing when watching two men? I mean, you can’t put a mic by them or somethin’? They can’t breathe or talk on their own? And the music. Oh God, even in Focus, the music was like erm, awful. Yes I know you can’t play sexy music from real musicians in porn soundtracks, I get it but uh, the music created by keyboard or computers, fuckin’ annoying!

Oh that’s just the tip of the iceberg but I don’t want to bore you. Don’t get me wrong, I love some porn, I really do, but it’s a turn off when the above things are shown in videos. I also know you get what you pay for. So if you pay nothing, you won’t get much. Unless you go to places like Redtube or Pornhub. Yepper, there are some good ones there and there are some horrible ones too. Recently, I saw one that made me take notice immediately and spurred on a story. *winks* It even got me to write this blog. *laughs* So it’s not all bad, especially when it titillates and inspires.

And I’m sure you’re asking did any of the above happen in that video? Yeah, just one. The “Fuck yeah” but there was some good to come out of that even though the one guy said he was a masseuse and walked into the other man’s apartment, kissing him like he knew him real well. *laughs* I digress.

Regardless, I do enjoy “adult art” and will continue to watch it even with all its flaws. Hopefully someone will read my post and ask me to direct one someday.

Ah a girl can dream can’t she?

This has been another no holds barred post by wicked gal, BLMorticia. 

BLMorticia is currently a published writer with Naughty Nights Press and Rebel Ink Press. She entertains her readers with hot and smexy sex, humor, and lots of swear words. She attempts to incorporate metal music or the military in most of her works. Nothin’ sexier than metalheads or military servicemen and women! She also writes a biweekly column on Blak Rayne Books and blogs on the First Thursday of the month at NNP Blog. For more info, please visit, Erotica With Snark