Equality in Relationships...Can There Be More Than One Leader?

Cassandre Dayne

For any of you who’ve read my stories, you know I write in several genres. I love writing about creatures that go bump in the night as well as serial killers where I can delve into the mind of a madman. I also create stories involving couples including m/f, m/m and f/f and their desire to simply try and find love in a sea of difficult people. What I find my readers respond to the most is when I write about domination, submission and the concept of one person being head of the household. Domestic Discipline and D/s certainly aren’t new, but the acceptance of the alternative lifestyle is more widely spread than ever before.

Writing about discipline and various forms of obedience, including punishment in various methods is something that touches a lot of people and in truth, I’m shocked. I never would have guessed

that writing about adults receiving regular spankings would be so popular. Trust is readers can’t seem to get enough. I’m lucky to hear very personal stories and comments on how my stories and blogs touch them. I think I’m able to tell a story about my own personal needs in a manner that allows others to take a taste of the unknown. Domination and submission is very personal for me as well and telling various stories is something I adore.

What I find very interesting is how many women in particular are very tired of being in control all the time. They became very emotional when they mention their lives and all the tasks they have to perform on a daily basis. Life isn’t easy and with all the time constraints and people pulling us in different directions, we tend to lose track of ourselves. Women are caretakers so often and can become frustrated when work/family/friends/home are out of control. Yes, we’re very emotional creatures. I can’t lie about that. I convey emotions in the pieces I write and there’s nothing wrong with raw passion, no matter if expressed in anger, joy or sadness.

Humans are just that – very human. We want to be protected, trust someone implicitly with our well being as well as the demons that haunt everyone of us. When you find the right person, one you can bare your soul to, the moment is amazing. What’s wrong with letting go, allowing another to take full control? According to society pretty much everything. We’re supposed to be equals in our relationships. The discussion about who makes more doesn’t happen over the dinner table. Laundry is something that is supposed to be shared, cooking only when absolutely necessary and certainly not as a joy any longer.

I don’t know. I’m no Betty Crocker but I see the way of the world as frazzling, pushing us toward a mind blowing need for more information, data in a blink of an eye and there’s basically zero time to stop and smell the roses. Think about your relationship for a minute. Who has control of the housework, the finances? Who makes the decisions for the children or takes control of making certain the basic maintenance needs of the house are taken care of. My guess is you’re going to say both of you, but does the work really happen or do you just argue over why he didn’t put his clothes away or stop at the store like you asked? Be honest – is the fully based equality standing working in your relationship?

If you’re honest you’re going to say no – a resounding no. I think that’s why my readers gravitate toward my stories about domestic discipline. When I decided to expand on the Spankdown concept – penning the Spank Me stories, I realized that men and women long for control. Men hunger to take full control and women are tired of having to be in charge – telling the man or the kids what to do every flipping moment of the day. I know I am. I didn’t really embrace the fact until about three years ago. For any of you who know me, have talked or shared a drink or read my blogs, you know I’m a pretty opinionated bitch. YES I used the ‘b’ word. It’s okay. I can be. I can also be very emotional, out of control and in need of being yanked back. Being taken in hand, taken over his knee is something I never would have anticipated hungering for, but I want nothing more than this type of relationship.

I think women are damn good at throwing tantrums just like we did when we were children and you know why we do – whether consciously or subconsciously? Because we usually get what we want when we do. Our significant other either shuts down during an argument and lets us win or they begrudgingly do what we ask. Really? Is that any way to live? Men weren’t bred to be passive. They were made to be hunters and gatherers. They are supposed to be our protectors and forage for food. Okay so the times have changed but their natural instinct certainly hasn’t. They want to be top dog. So why not allow this to happen?

Hmmm… Is the concept too daunting for you? I have a wonderful group of followers on my blog and in posting various stories and my thoughts on a man taking charge, pretty much every woman agrees they want to be able to emotionally release. They long to be able to cry. Receiving a hard spanking not only gives a woman an excuse to let go, but the release is cathartic in my book – no pun intended. Pain is something we can concentrate on and yes, a spanking is supposed to hurt ladies and gents. When women receive a spanking, they hone in on what he’s saying, the reason for their punishment. They aren’t thinking about dishes or who should have gone to the store.

Spankings tend to refocus and bring couples closer. A man feels in charge, a place he has longed to be his entire adult life. Don’t take this as a simple fix to the high divorce rate. Being in a relationship of this nature takes time, effort and a deep commitment. But… I think the interest as well as the desire for a different lifestyle is increasing. I write about the exploration in very unusual ways in order to find love as well as acceptance. D/s or DD – whatever acronyms you select are powerful moments of shared intimacy. Couples are closer and that’s why my stories are hitting people hard. Ask yourself this question – ladies, do you crave a hard spanking and men, would you be much happier if you were in charge? Hmmm… I bet I know the answers.

Kisses and spanks…

Cassandre