Thursday, July 21, 2011

Realizing The Dangers Of Adding Facebook Requests From People You May Not Know:  Before It's Too Late!

A recent friend request prompted me to blog about this subject today.

Perhaps I am just wary of adding people not vouched for after an incident in a private group with a friend getting harassed by some guy (same guy who sent me a message too, and he wasn't even unique about it apparently) and two others suddenly losing their accounts. 

But for me when someone has only a few mutuals and isn't in any of my groups, nor does he appear to be an author, I just see danger. 

After removing & blocking this particular offensive individual, I again had such a request shortly after.  It smelled bad to me (maybe same guy created another account) so I decided this time to ask the five mutuals we shared.

In this particular case three of the other mutual friends replied promptly and said he randomly added them this morning and in the end I also realized he was underage anyway so uh, no, don't think so!  Not good to allow underage people on your account! Moments ago I just had the last of the mutual friends confirm that he'd requested us all this morning. As another friend mentioned too, we wonder what list we're on!

My advice, and I believe it to be wise advice, is unless you know them or they are suggested by someone you know & trust I'd be aware of potential trouble.
 
In this business, with our content being purely adult, I see no reason to add someone who is underage that I don't know. Only twice have I made exceptions to this rule, one was for an aspiring author who was very honest about only being 17, whose birthday was a few months off, but who had asked me as a friend for the purpose of learning about writing.  I was flattered at being asked to Mentor him and he has not disappointed me yet.  He has always maintained an adult level of communication with me and several others I'd eventually suggested him to for learning purposes.

The other was also an author, but one I'd found who I wanted to publish and had parental consent to do so.  He is a damn incredibly talented writer too!

So in a nutshell, please be very careful who you allow on your friends list or you too could find yourself the center of a very major negative issue from harassment to fb banning, none of us need that!

My theory:  Not many mutuals, doesn't appear to be an author, not suggested by a trusted friend or have any common denominators or sends me an inappropriate pm... Any of these in my opinion equals a NO in the friendship request.  Even then, be careful, if the above doesn't apply, not everyone is truly wanting to be a friend.

We authors have to watch out for each other too.  If something seems off to you, take a minute and warn your friends that may be on his list too!
If it hadn't been for a friend letting me know what the first guy was doing (my busy schedule had kept me from the group that day) then I may not have known he was up to no good until it was too late.

Take care, stay safe and keep on writing!

Yours Faithfully,
Mistress Gina

7 comments:

  1. I had an instance like that on fb recently- blocked the guy when he continued sending me obscene message- mind you, I am an erotic author and sex advice columnist- but still- I had to formally file a complaint with fb and call out my local police to file a report- It's very scary- this man claimed to be someone I went to school with and even had mutual hs friends-

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  2. My goodness. I am glad that both of you got your creepy situation sorted out. It can be a scary thing to deal with. Good advice!

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  3. I recently had a guy without any friends in common try to friend me. His profile picture was of his erect penis. I guess he got his jollies. I just deleted the friend request but I forgot to report him. Should have done that.

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  4. I agree with you. When a person friends me without a lot of mutual friends, I send them a msg asking about them. There are individuals who troll fb at random looking to friend people. Those people I block. Nothing wrong with protecting yourself! Great post, Gina!

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  5. I get asked out on a lot of "dates" through FB. Those guys get blocked quick. I almost want to ask them if they really think I'm that stupid.

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  6. Thanks for sharing this Gina! And for helping to make everyone more aware in order to keep themselves safe.

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  7. I will def try remember this. Sometimed I find an author through another author, but I really don't know what to say wo coming across as a stalker or creep. I did create another profile for those that are not allowed on my regular one. My regular one is PG-13 to R, this one will be PG. I did post a warning on my regular profile about what I was doing, so no one would think it was someone else. Thanks for the Heads Up!!

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